Updated: Mar 16, 2021
I have to think that a breakdown of trust exists in almost all separations. I think that there are many parents who fantasize that separating will allow them to sever ties with their spouse. But, if you have kids, of course, it's not that easy.
Co-parents have to continue to inform each other about what's going on with their kids and make decisions for their kids ... until they're adults. If there are trust issues between co-parents at the time of their separation, it might help to know how to bridge that gap.
Enter Brené Brown. If you know her, you probably love her and if you don't know her, then you're welcome. She's so funny and smart and easy to listen to. She was on Oprah SuperSoul Sunday talking about trust and what elements need to exist in a trusting relationship. I know that not everyone is a fan of Oprah (haha!) but, as a co-parent, you really do need to watch this. Here's the link: https://brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/
I knew this had direct impact on clients because it really is a blueprint for people with low levels of trust to continue to communicate in a positive and supportive way. The truth of it is that co-parents are expected to work together effectively for the benefit of their kids. The problem is, you're starting off below ground. This understanding of trust can help pull you out of that trust deficit and towards building something really cool for your kids.
I've adapted Brené Brown's "Anatomy of Trust" for co-parents, which is attached below. Review it before you make a parenting plan to help you figure out what areas might need discussion. Continue to review it to help refocus your intention of rebuilding trust on an ongoing basis.