Question 1

We already agree.  Do we need mediation?

Accepted Answer

Mediation is a great process for those that agree already.  I will work with you both to flesh out your agreement and help you work out the details of your plan together.  Mediation allows you to build on your agreement as opposed to divide you in an adversarial process. 
 
As a family law mediator, I'll draft your agreement for you in neutral legal language so that it does not benefit either party.  When you have a lawyer do the drafting, it is the lawyer's job to benefit their own client, so the language often benefits their client.  Then the other person takes the agreement to a lawyer and their lawyer wants to change that language.  That's starts a bit of a back and forth process to try to refine that language.  It all takes time and money.
 
The way I explain it is that I help both of you for 95% of the process and then once the drafting is complete, you can each take it to your lawyers for a final review.  This allows you to split the cost, saving thousands in legal fees.

Question 2

Do we actually need a separation agreement?

Accepted Answer

Whether you're married or common-law,(https://www.victoriamediation.ca/post/separation-agreement-vs-divorce-what-s-the-difference-and-why-you-need-a-separation-agreement-in-b) if you have children and/or property together, then you need a separation agreement.  First, it's a written record of the agreements you make.  It ensures that you both understand it in the same way and that all of the details are ironed out.  This decreases future disagreements, but also serves as a record of the agreement in case a dispute arises later on.
 
Second, other professionals will need your agreement to facilitate the various transactions outlined in your financial settlement.  Your separation agreement serves as instructions for lawyers, financial advisers, and lenders.  A bank will not extend funds or refinance unless there is a signed agreement showing a finalization of the financial matters between you. A financial manager will not split your RRSP funds without a signed separation agreement saying that they can.

Question 3

Why do we have to meet with you separately?

Accepted Answer

I have to meet with you each in pre-mediation meetings to assess the situation and figure out how to best structure the mediation session.  I need to give each of you the opportunity to speak with me candidly about your perspective and this is really best done in a one-on-one session.
 
An individual pre-mediation meeting is just part of the process,though.  It's a professional obligation that I assess the situation for mediation in separate pre-mediation meetings.  But, in almost every case, we are able to move ahead from there and our next session is where we come together.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Rebecca Alleyne Family Law Mediation
201 - 1842 Oak Bay Avenue

(250) 595-0323