My family mediation process provides a clear, structured path through separation so you always know what to expect. I have refined it over many years of family law and mediation practice to keep discussions focused, informed, and productive, while addressing all of the legal and practical issues that need to be resolved.
Every mediation moves through the same five stages, in the same order, so nothing important is missed and nothing gets decided out of sequence.
A private one-on-one with each of you, usually by Zoom.
Forms, a personalised document list, and a secure shared folder.
The substantive work: parenting, support, and property decisions.
A clear, legally sound Separation Agreement reflecting your decisions.
Review, sign, and move forward with certainty.
The outcome: a legally binding Separation Agreement covering parenting, child support, spousal support, and the division of property and debts.
This process is designed to reduce conflict, keep discussions focused, and ensure that all necessary parenting, financial, and legal issues are addressed in a clear and organized way. Over many years of exclusively mediating separation matters, I have refined a structured approach that deals with family matters as efficiently as possible.
We begin at a high level, by understanding what is driving each of you and what you value most as you move forward. This shared understanding becomes the foundation for our work together and provides direction for the decisions that follow. In my experience, clarifying these goals early is one of the most important steps in creating durable and workable agreements. From there we move into the details of your family's situation and review how the law applies before working out the final solutions.
Structure allows space for meaningful conversation while ensuring nothing important is overlooked.
By working through the same information together and understanding the legal framework at the same time, many couples find that using mediation to negotiate their separation agreement is more efficient and far less exhausting than traditional approaches. The goal is not to rush decisions, but to create a thoughtful and practical plan you can rely on. Learn more about my background and family mediation practice.
Before we begin mediation together, I meet with each person separately for a private, one-on-one pre-mediation meeting. This confidential conversation gives you the opportunity to meet me, ask questions about the mediation process, and share your perspective in a setting where you can speak openly.
During this meeting we talk about your background, the details of your situation, and the dynamics between you and your spouse. I also take time to understand what matters most to you, so I can structure the joint sessions in a way that feels balanced, supportive, and efficient. I provide guidance on how best to prepare and what to expect as we move forward.
We also review how decisions are made in mediation, address preliminary legal questions, and clarify next steps, so you enter the joint mediation feeling informed and confident.
After I have met with both of you individually, we send a follow-up email outlining your next steps. It includes:
Transparency and shared understanding are essential to good decision-making. Completing this preparation in advance allows both of you to review the same information ahead of time, so mediation sessions can focus on meaningful discussion and informed decisions rather than document gathering.
The joint mediation session is where the substantive work happens. Sessions can take place in person or online, and you may participate with or without lawyers, depending on your preferences and circumstances.
While every mediation is unique, the agenda generally follows a consistent structure. Sessions focused on parenting or financial issues typically take about four hours, while mediations that address both parenting and financial matters often take closer to seven hours. We can complete the process in one longer session or divide it into two, depending on what works best for you.
I structure mediation as a planning conversation rather than a confrontation. We begin by exploring what matters most to each of you, including your goals, priorities, and concerns for the future. From there we review information, run the necessary calculations, and discuss how the law applies. With a clear understanding of your values, resources, and options, we work together toward decisions that are practical, balanced, and sustainable.
Once decisions are reached in mediation, I prepare a draft Separation Agreement that reflects everything you have agreed to. I use standard clauses relied on by BC family lawyers to ensure the agreement is legally sound and comprehensive.
The agreement is written in clear, neutral language so it is easy to understand and accurately reflects the arrangements you made together. My goal is for both of you to feel confident that the written agreement captures the understanding reached in mediation and provides a reliable framework moving forward.
Before finalising your Separation Agreement, I recommend that each of you obtain independent legal advice. Reviewing the agreement with your own lawyer gives you the opportunity to make sure you understand the terms fully and how they affect your individual legal rights.
As a neutral family mediator, my role is to support both of you and your family as a whole. I provide legal information and guidance throughout the mediation process, but not individualised legal advice. Independent legal advice offers an additional layer of clarity and reassurance before signing.
Seeking independent legal advice is a choice. If you decide not to do so, you may still sign the agreement in front of a witness to make it final and legally binding.
This process is the foundation of everything we do. It is what the Divii platform was built on, and it is how I run every mediation. Whichever path you choose, the stages are the same and the destination is the same: a Separation Agreement drafted or reviewed by a senior family lawyer.
You work through preparation and decision-making at your own pace in the platform. Anything unresolved becomes the agenda for Divii Mediated.
Explore Divii ›I meet with each of you first, you complete your Divii file together, and what remains becomes the agenda for two hours of targeted mediation. I draft your full Separation Agreement when you reach agreement.
See Divii Mediated ›The full five-step process with me throughout, providing legal information in the room and drafting your agreement myself.
Meet Rebecca ›Whether we meet in person or online, every family mediation follows the same structured process. Preparation, discussion, and legal guidance remain consistent, while allowing flexibility to suit your circumstances. This approach allows families in Victoria, BC and throughout British Columbia to access mediation in a way that works for them.
Pre-mediation meetings are typically held by Zoom. Joint sessions take place either at our Oak Bay office or online, whichever suits you both. Nothing about the quality or thoroughness of the process changes with the format.
Most matters are completed in four to six weeks from the first pre-mediation meeting to a signed agreement. The joint mediation itself takes about four hours for parenting or financial issues alone, and about seven hours when both are addressed, either in one longer session or split across two.
We begin by exploring what matters most to each of you. We then review the information gathered during preparation, run the necessary support and property calculations, and discuss how BC family law applies. From there we work through each decision in a structured order until the agenda is complete.
No. You may participate with or without lawyers, depending on your preference. I provide legal information throughout so you can make informed decisions, and I recommend each of you obtain independent legal advice before signing the final agreement.
Disagreement is normal and the process is built for it. Most sticking points resolve once both people understand the same information and the legal framework. If something remains unresolved, we identify it clearly, address what can be decided, and discuss the options for the rest rather than letting it stall everything else.
Yes. Mediation is a confidential process, and your individual pre-mediation meeting is confidential as well. This is what allows both of you to speak openly and explore options without concern that discussions will be used against you later.
More questions are answered in the mediation FAQs.
The process begins with a conversation. If you know you want to mediate, book a pre-mediation meeting. If you are still working out which path suits your situation, start with a free consultation instead.
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