Home  ›  Prepare for Mediation  ›  Primary Parenting Schedules
Common Patterns

Primary parenting schedules

These are common options, listed in order of the number of nights away from the primary parent. The first are for a younger child, moving down progressively as the child gets older.

Six patternsIn order of nights away
Two weeksShown in every grid
A starting pointNot a menu to pick from

A primary schedule gives the child a home base with one parent. It suits younger children, families where one parent has always done most of the weekday routine, and situations where the distance between homes makes anything else impractical.

Read them as starting points. In mediation we build the one that fits your family, which is usually one of these with something adjusted.

Shared schedules, where time is closer to equal, are set out here.

Every weekend, one overnight a week

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
Parent AParent BTwo weeks shown
Structure
The child has weekday time with one parent and some weekend nights with the other.
Best for
Families with young children who want consistent days, and where the primary parent wants some weekend time too.
Considerations
  • Each parent has some weekend time
  • Transitions happen at one parent's home or in the community, so parents need to communicate directly

Alternating weekends

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
Parent AParent BTwo weeks shown
Structure
The child has a home base with one parent and spends alternating weekends with the other.
Best for
Families with young children with no more than two nights away from the other parent.
Considerations
  • Only weekend time with the other parent makes for disconnection from school and real life

Alternating weekends with school transitions

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
Parent AParent BTwo weeks shown
Structure
The child has a home base with one parent and spends alternating weekends with the other, with transitions happening at school.
Best for
Families with young children with no more than three nights away from the other parent.
Considerations
  • School transitions decrease conflict between parents
  • School provides a buffer period for the child as they move between homes

Alternating weekends with a mid-week visit

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
Parent AParent BTwo weeks shown
Structure
The child has a home base with one parent and spends alternating weekends with the other, plus one school night on alternate weeks.
Best for
Families with young children with no more than two nights away from the other parent.
Considerations
  • One night with a parent during the week may not feel like enough time to reconnect
  • This week-night visit can be just for the evening

Alternating weekends with weekly visits

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
Parent AParent BTwo weeks shown
Structure
The child has a home base with one parent and spends alternating weekends with the other, plus one school night each week.
Best for
Families with young children with no more than two nights away from the other parent.
Considerations
  • One night with a parent during the week may not feel like enough time to reconnect, with a lot of back and forth
  • Not as consistent, which can cause greater confusion

Every weekend, two overnights a week

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
Parent AParent BTwo weeks shown
Structure
The child has weekday time with one parent and weekends with the other.
Best for
Families with young children who want consistent days.
Considerations
  • One parent becomes the homework parent and the other becomes the fun parent
Choosing One

There is no one-size-fits-all schedule

Primary schedules can flexibly work around your family's specific needs. Try to find the one that best meets your family's needs, thinking about the following, and find the right balance for your child's age, developmental stage and temperament.

Your child's age
Your child's activities and routines
Ensuring consistency and predictability for you and your child
How much time away from either parent your child can handle, which changes as they get older
How you spend weekends: do you like to go away, or do you both want to share each weekend?
Minimising transitions, which can be stressful and tiring for your child

On transitions.
• fewer transitions provide more stability and consistency, which helps them feel secure
• longer stretches of quality time with each parent, which supports stronger relationships
• less opportunity for conflict during handoffs, which creates a calmer environment

You can adjust the schedule over time as needs change and your child gets older. Nothing you agree now has to last forever.

Still Deciding

Not sure mediation is your path?

A free thirty-minute consultation costs nothing and commits you to nothing. Or take the two-minute quiz and get a roadmap written around your answers.

Book a Free Consultation  Take the Quiz