How the Mediation Process Works
My family mediation process provides a clear, structured path through separation so you always know what to expect. I’ve refined this process over many years of family law and mediation practice to ensure that discussions stay focused, informed, and productive, while addressing all of the legal and practical issues that need to be resolved. Learn more about my background and family mediation practice.
What the Mediation Process is Designed to do
This mediation process is designed to reduce conflict, keep discussions focused, and ensure that all necessary parenting, financial, and legal issues are addressed in a clear and organized way. Over many years of exclusively mediating separation matters, I have refined a structured approach to deal with family matters as efficiently as possible.
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We begin at a high level by understanding what is driving each of you and what you value most as you move forward. This shared understanding becomes the foundation for our work together and provides direction for the decisions that follow. In my experience, clarifying these goals early is one of the most important steps in creating durable and workable agreements. From there, we move into the details of your family’s situation and review how the law applies before working out the final solutions.
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By working through the same information together and understanding the legal framework at the same time, many couples find that using mediation to negotiate their separation agreement more efficient and far less exhausting than traditional approaches. The goal is not to rush decisions, but to create a thoughtful and practical plan that you can rely on moving forward. Structure allows space for meaningful conversation while ensuring nothing important is overlooked.
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Step One - Pre-mediation Meetings
Before we begin mediation together, I meet with each person separately for a private, one-on-one pre-mediation meeting. This confidential conversation gives you the opportunity to meet me, ask questions about the mediation process, and share your perspective in a setting where you can speak openly.
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During this meeting, we talk about your background, the details of your situation, and the dynamics between you and your spouse. I also take time to understand what matters most to you so that I can structure the joint mediation sessions in a way that feels balanced, supportive, and efficient. I provide guidance on how best to prepare and what to expect as we move forward.
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We also review how decisions are made in mediation, address preliminary legal questions, and clarify the next steps so you can enter the joint mediation feeling informed and confident. Pre-mediation meetings are typically held by Zoom.
Step Two: Preparing for Mediation
After I’ve met with both of you individually, we send a follow-up email outlining your next steps. This message includes:
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a link to book your mediation session
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a form to complete with your personal and financial information, which generates a personalized list of the financial documents you’ll need to gather
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access to a private, shared folder where you can securely upload your information and documents
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instructions for logging into my website, where you can view detailed guidance to help you prepare for mediation
Transparency and shared understanding are essential to good decision-making. Completing this preparation in advance allows both of you to review the same information ahead of time, so that mediation sessions can focus on meaningful discussion and informed decisions rather than document gathering.
Step Three: Joint Mediation Sessions
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The joint mediation session is where the substantive work happens. Sessions can take place in person or online, and you may participate with or without lawyers, depending on your preferences and circumstances.
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While every mediation is unique, the agenda generally follows a consistent structure. Sessions focused on parenting or financial issues typically take about four hours, while mediations that address both parenting and financial matters often take closer to seven hours. We can complete the process in one longer session or divide it into two sessions, depending on what works best for you.
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I structure mediation as a planning conversation rather than a confrontation. We begin by exploring what matters most to each of you, including your goals, priorities, and concerns for the future. From there, we review information, run necessary calculations, and discuss how the law applies. With a clear understanding of your values, resources, and options, we work together toward decisions that are practical, balanced, and sustainable.
Step Four: Drafting the Separation Agreement
​Once decisions are reached in mediation, I prepare a draft Separation Agreement that reflects everything you have agreed to. I use standard clauses commonly relied on by BC family lawyers to ensure the agreement is legally sound and comprehensive.
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The agreement is written in clear, neutral language so it is easy to understand and accurately reflects the arrangements you made together. My goal is for both of you to feel confident that the written agreement captures the understanding reached in mediation and provides a reliable framework moving forward.
Step Five: Independent Legal Advice
Before finalizing your Separation Agreement, I recommend that each of you obtain independent legal advice. Reviewing the agreement with your own lawyer gives you the opportunity to ensure you understand the terms fully and how they affect your individual legal rights.
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As a neutral family mediator, my role is to support both of you and your family as a whole. I provide legal information and guidance throughout the mediation process, but not individualized legal advice. Independent legal advice offers an additional layer of clarity and reassurance before signing.
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Seeking independent legal advice is a choice. If you decide not to do so, you may still sign the agreement in front of a witness to make it final and legally binding.
In-Person and Online Mediation
Whether we meet in person or online, every family mediation follows the same structured process. Preparation, discussion, and legal guidance remain consistent, while allowing flexibility to suit your circumstances. This approach allows families in Victoria BC and throughout British Columbia to access mediation in a way that works for them.
The mediation process begins with booking a pre-mediation meeting. This is the first step in the process and a chance for each of you to speak with me individually before any joint sessions take place. I use these meetings to understand your situation, explain how mediation works, and identify any issues that need to be addressed before we meet together.
Pre-mediation helps me understand your situation, ensure the process is appropriate for both of you, and creates a solid foundation for productive and respectful mediation conversations going forward.