Our Family Mediation Process
Step 1 - The Pre-mediation Meeting
Before we begin mediation together, I meet with each person separately for a private, one-on-one conversation. This confidential meeting gives you the chance to meet me, share your perspective, and ask any questions you may have about the process.
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During our discussion, we’ll talk about your background, the details of your situation, and the dynamic between you and your spouse. I’ll also take time to understand what’s most important to you so that I can plan the joint mediation sessions in a way that feels supportive, balanced, and efficient.
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We can go over what to expect in mediation, clarify how decisions are made, and address some of your legal questions so that you feel prepared and confident moving forward.
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This is generally done as an online Zoom meeting.
Step 2 - Preparing for Mediation
After I’ve met with both of you individually in pre-mediation meetings, we'll send an email outlining your next steps. In that message, you’ll find:
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a link to book your mediation session,
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a form to fill out with your personal and financial details which generates a personalized list of the financial documents you’ll need to gather.
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a link to a private, shared folder where you can each upload your information and documents.
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instructions to login to my website where you can view all the steps to help you prepare for mediation (feel free to do so now by hitting Log In in the top right corner of your screen. You can simply start an account with my website and learn more about preparing for mediation).​
Transparency and understanding is key to decision making. Doing this legwork in advance allows both of you to review everything in advance so that our mediation sessions can focus on making informed, productive decisions.
Step 3 - The Joint Mediation Session
Your joint mediation session is where we bring everything together. It can take place in person or online, and you’re welcome to participate with or without lawyers - the structure will depend on your unique situation.
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While every mediation is different, the agenda generally follows a similar path (see the Financial Mediation Agenda and Parenting & Financial Mediation Agenda for more detail). Sessions focused on parenting or financial matters usually take about four hours, while mediations that cover both typically run closer to seven hours. We can do it all in one session or break it up into two sessions.
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I structure the mediation as a planning conversation, not a confrontation. We start by exploring what matters most to each of you (your goals, priorities, and hopes for the future) before moving into the details (reviewing information, running calculations, and considering the law). Once we have a clear picture of your values, resources, and options, we work together to make decisions that are fair, practical, and sustainable.
Step 4 - Draft the Separation Agreement
Once we’ve reached decisions together in mediation, I’ll prepare a draft Separation Agreement that reflects everything you’ve agreed upon. I use the standard clauses that most B.C. family lawyers rely on, ensuring your agreement is legally sound and comprehensive.
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The agreement is written in plain, neutral language so that it’s easy to read and clearly represents your arrangements in a fair and balanced way. My goal is for both of you to feel confident that the written agreement truly captures the understanding you reached in mediation.
Step 5 - Independent Legal Advice
Before finalizing your agreement, I always recommend that each of you get independent legal advice. This gives you the chance to review the agreement with your own lawyer, ensure you fully understand it, and consider how your choices affect your individual legal rights.
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As a neutral mediator (even though I am a lawyer) my role is to support both of you and your family as a whole. I provide legal information and guidance throughout the process, but not individualized advice. Having your own lawyer review the agreement offers an extra layer of clarity and confidence.
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It is a choice, though. If you prefer not to seek independent advice, you can also sign your agreement in front of a witness to make it final and binding.
