Can Mediation Work for your Family?

Many people come to me unsure if mediation can work for them. They worry their situation is too complicated or that their level of conflict is too high. After practicing family law for almost 20 years and helping more than 1000 families navigate separation and divorce, I can say with confidence that there is almost no situation that is too complicated for mediation.

Separation and divorce are complex, but the law gives us a clear structure to apply to every scenario. Millions of people before you have had to manage these issues and courts have dealt with every kind of family situation you can imagine, which means we always have a legal framework to guide our conversations. Mediation becomes the space where we take that framework and shape it into a plan that works for your family.

At its core, mediation is simply a supported way to resolve the issues you already need to resolve. You can do that together or you can do it against each other. Only in rare situations would I tell someone that mediation is not appropriate and that a court process is unavoidable. In almost every case, we can shape mediation to fit the situation and help you move forward in a way that feels manageable and constructive.

Conflict Does Not Automatically Rule Out Mediation

People often assume that conflict makes mediation impossible. In reality, conflict is common and completely expected during separation. What matters is how we structure the process so both people feel supported and able to participate fully.

I can tailor mediation in many different ways. We can meet in person or online, with lawyers or without, in the same room or in separate rooms. We can use a shuttle style where I move between you, or we can sit together if that feels comfortable. My role is to make sure each of you feels safe, heard, and able to make decisions without fear or pressure.

In almost every case, the level of conflict is something we can work with. Mediation actually helps lower conflict because it puts structure around your conversations and helps you understand each other’s priorities.

Mediation Can Still Work Even with Family Violence or Abuse

People also worry that any history of family violence means mediation is not possible. Safety is always my first priority, and we take family violence seriously. A history of fear, intimidation, or controlling behaviour does not automatically rule out mediation, but it does mean we need to look more closely at how to structure the process. In our pre mediation meetings, I ask detailed questions about safety, communication, and past incidents so I can understand the full picture.

If mediation is appropriate, I design the process in a way that protects each person’s safety and emotional well being. This can include meeting online, using separate rooms, having staggered arrival and departure times, or working in a shuttle format so there is no direct interaction. I can also involve lawyers or support people if that helps you feel grounded and secure. My role is to create a calm, structured environment where you can participate without pressure.

There are situations where mediation is not suitable, and I will always be straightforward with you about that. But many people who have experienced family violence can still mediate safely when we put the right supports in place. My goal is to help you make informed decisions in a process where you feel protected and heard.

Complicated Details Won't Force You Into Court

Complicated financial situations also do not prevent mediation from working. I routinely help high net worth families, people with multiple properties, international assets, capital gains issues, complex business structures, and layered corporate holdings. These situations can feel overwhelming, but they are very manageable in mediation when we prepare properly.

There is almost no situation that is too complicated for mediation. What matters most is your willingness to try and a hope for a fair resolution

The key is gathering the right information before we begin. You may need a business valuator, input from your accountant, tax advice, or specific financial statements. I guide you through this preparation so you know exactly what to collect and why it matters. When you come into mediation with accurate information, you can make informed decisions and work through even the most complex financial issues with confidence.

Mediation Supports Affordability and Efficiency

Many people worry they cannot afford legal support, which sometimes leads them to avoid dealing with their separation or to download a free template and complete it without any guidance. Cost matters for almost every separating couple, and mediation can make the process far more affordable.

In mediation we work together from the beginning, instead of hiring two separate lawyers who gather information and draft documents on their own for months. By building the agreement together, we reduce duplication and create a more efficient process.

The Real Barrier is Inflexibility

The situations that give me pause are not the complicated ones or where there has been past abuse or high levels of conflict. They are the ones where a spouse is completely unwilling to compromise. It is very rare to meet someone who has absolutely no flexibility, but it does happen from time to time. Mediation only works if both people can consider different option and solutions that meet both sets of needs. If one or both spouses refuse to explore options, I would not want to waste your time or your money.

Most people do have at least some willingness to work toward an agreement. When that is present, even a small amount, we can usually build on it.

Why I Hold a Pre Mediation Meeting

Before we begin, I meet with each person individually. This conversation is your chance to talk to me privately about your relationship, your communication dynamic, and the issues we need to cover in mediation. I want to know what you are worried about and what support you need so I can design a process that fits your situation.

Some people need more structure. Some need more space. Some need shorter sessions or breaks between discussions. Some need separate rooms. My job is to understand what will help you feel grounded and informed so you can make thoughtful decisions.

Mediation Works for More Families Than You Think

If you are wondering whether mediation is right for you, the answer is almost always yes. Complicated finances, high conflict, communication struggles, or emotional tension do not prevent mediation from working. What matters most is your willingness to try and your hope for a resolution that feels fair and sustainable.

Take our Quiz: Is Mediation Right For Me?

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